Skip to main content

MAMA

The way I walk, with my body slightly tilted to the right and my head upward in a proud stance holding a resting bitch face, may seem peculiar until you meet my mother. I get from her also my uneven smile, my zero eyesight, my laugh, my body and my life. I can draw up a very short list of women who would give me a part of their lives like my mother does. There are also a few decades between us, a few fights and unconditional love. There is not enough English alphabets to explain my love for her.

It was not always like this. There was a time we went days without meaningful conversation, when I thought she was done teaching me life's lessons, but she kept loving me; Through my weird puberty, my confused adolescence and she still did when I brought my first girl home. She walked away from all her ideals for me and she has played the role of mother and father to my little brothers. All these things she has done with not a single groan, with the focus and competence I hope I inherited from her. I could be the strongest woman on earth, but my mother, she would always be my anchor.

There are others who have raised me through the years; There is Cee, when I was ten years old and freshly in boarding school, who showed me how to wear my hair long and own my self. There is Jt who held me together after my first heartbreak and is my second mother. Then there are my elder sisters who are mothers to adorable children, who raised me first, and raised me well. Last but not least are the women who hid behind corners and snitched on the goings and comings of unconventional visitors who popped in while my mother was at work; these ones taught me stealth. 

This is a day set aside for mothers, who bring you cut up fruit spontaneously (inserts meme), and those you only equate to the comfort of your bed(amen, Drake). But it is also a reminder that we need to do better by them everyday. I say this with a long island ice tea chilling beside me(my hypocrisy), but I will do right by mine, always.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

#BFF GOALS

My best friend was coming out to me, in the dead of the night, whispering between the upper bunk beds of oh so adventurous high school. I was alert to the details of her new awakened feelings for a woman, even though I had not declared my own sexuality to her yet. My lover and I were still a secret, even to ourselves. At that moment, when she began telling me, I knew I wanted to stand with her, for her. When she began, I knew I was going to be one of those woke best friends, that was when she began.  Then she elaborated these feelings. There had been an object of her burning desire, ‘your new friend,’ she said, ‘I think I want your new friend.’ Maybe at that point, if the lights to our overcrowded dorm had been on, she would have noticed the despair that sketched itself across my face. Maybe, she would have read the words of Don’t you Dare in my eyes and stopped there. Maybe she would have seen how I had to ball up my fists to keep the words in. Maybe she would have reali...

MY LOVER WAS NOT MINE

He used to come over Wednesdays or Thursdays, never one day after the other, never too early, never too late. He knew how to bring it up, at the right time, in the right way. He knew the meanders and corners of the dirt road that led up to my mother’s house where I would be waiting. He knew how to unlock the front door, where to return the key after locking us in and just how to arrange his shoes at the door for smooth flight. He knew the way to the spare bedroom where he would find me waiting, sometimes I would meet him at the door like I was supposed to meet my husband, only he wasn’t my husband. My lover knew how to come to me. He knew how to speak to me with his eyes, he knew every button just by touch, he knew where every cloth should fall on the red floor and all with his lips still on mine he knew how to find himself under me. my lover knew how to look into my eyes while he put my legs around his waist. He knew how to turn up the ringer on both our phones, so our mothe...

PLAN INTERRUPTUS

  There was a whole flow of events set in motion the day I was born. Just like it was for my mother and her mother before her, I was to be raised to be a lady, a wife, a mother, a little of a leader and an all round confident woman. In my early years mother did her part. She nursed me and kept me with her in the kitchen, she occasionally took me to work with her so i could learn the value of an education, she recited stories while i played at her feet and taught me how to care for my younger siblings. With time she taught me that the inside of my body was alive and that i would one day bleed from it. She explained the miracle that is bearing a child and then delivered the stern warning to not dare try. I know, this the chorus to most girl child upbringing. Mine was punctuated by the teachings of my pastor father and my inherited religion every so often, by the time i was eight i had a special sermon to keep the boys away. After that was expected the actual exercise of keeping the...