Skip to main content

THE ONE THAT RAN AWAY

There is that one person we can swear our love by. There is always that heartbeat that you could listen to on repeat for your whole life. There is that one human whose existence is the reason for yours. They might be the one you go home to every day, or maybe the one that got away. I have a love like that, they were my bane, my existence, my every next breathe, but they were also the one that ran away. They ran. 

 Their name was Don. Don was a cocktail of intellect and beauty. We spent hours talking about Philosophy, Religion, love, music, our dreams, Their hair and pain in equal measure. The beauty of her light skin and baby soft hair was a bonus. When Don smiled, my world lit up. We had very few hours together really, but I remember every minute of it, all the places their body would meet mine, there still is a simmering sensation. Every morning text is engraved in my mind, every echo of their laughter haunts my house. There was no moment in the 12+ months we were together when I felt the ground beneath my feet. For them, I was always falling, always deeper in love.

 But when our time was up, they ran. First because I was selfish. I would gush out my love and forget to listen for their answer. They weren't happy. I took a beautiful soul and trapped in in a beautiful cage and called it love. I bound my brokenness to theirs and I recreated the scars that were already there. so they ran. I played our relationship on mute, focusing on the conversation rather than the words, the action of touching rather than the holiness of making love. I was ready to give my life for them rather than help them find meaning for theirs. So they ran. I found them, and I promised not to ask them to fall again.

 Now they are the reminder of a confession I make over and over again. I should have loved them better. I should have. They are that love that in another time and life, is your soulmate. Every love song sounds like a symphony written for them, every sad song is a piece of their souls where your darkness burnt them, every happy song is what their lives are without you. We all have this one person we think about when we write or read pieces like these. I hope they are a phone call away for you, and that the next person that has a chance to kiss the heart pulse tattoo on Don's arm does it with a lot of love. My first apology is that i have gendered Don correctly for the first time.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

#BFF GOALS

My best friend was coming out to me, in the dead of the night, whispering between the upper bunk beds of oh so adventurous high school. I was alert to the details of her new awakened feelings for a woman, even though I had not declared my own sexuality to her yet. My lover and I were still a secret, even to ourselves. At that moment, when she began telling me, I knew I wanted to stand with her, for her. When she began, I knew I was going to be one of those woke best friends, that was when she began.  Then she elaborated these feelings. There had been an object of her burning desire, ‘your new friend,’ she said, ‘I think I want your new friend.’ Maybe at that point, if the lights to our overcrowded dorm had been on, she would have noticed the despair that sketched itself across my face. Maybe, she would have read the words of Don’t you Dare in my eyes and stopped there. Maybe she would have seen how I had to ball up my fists to keep the words in. Maybe she would have reali...
Post a Comment
Read more

COITUS INTERRUPTUS

The world was blown away by a fem positive revolution around 2010/11.My little world at the time was taken by storm by Oprah and Ellen. I decided i had found the word i was looking for. To hear an echo of what was my story from a woman of color and a queer woman both from the across the globe inspired me. I made the mistake of speaking the word to my father. It was at a family dinner, he had just served himself the lion share(oh the African culture) and was settling comfortably into his seat.I turned to my mother and told her we had learnt about rape at school that day. My mother did not miss a beat, she said " That is not table conversation." The very next day and every day after that there was a cold knife on my neck when he came to take me. I realize that I had been captivated by the success stories. I had looked past the process of coming to terms. I tried again, when i met my first girlfriend five years ago, and this time I was ready for the hurt, confusion, guilt and...
Post a Comment
Read more

PLAN INTERRUPTUS

  There was a whole flow of events set in motion the day I was born. Just like it was for my mother and her mother before her, I was to be raised to be a lady, a wife, a mother, a little of a leader and an all round confident woman. In my early years mother did her part. She nursed me and kept me with her in the kitchen, she occasionally took me to work with her so i could learn the value of an education, she recited stories while i played at her feet and taught me how to care for my younger siblings. With time she taught me that the inside of my body was alive and that i would one day bleed from it. She explained the miracle that is bearing a child and then delivered the stern warning to not dare try. I know, this the chorus to most girl child upbringing. Mine was punctuated by the teachings of my pastor father and my inherited religion every so often, by the time i was eight i had a special sermon to keep the boys away. After that was expected the actual exercise of keeping the...
Post a Comment
Read more